"it's all about me..."

James 4:1-3

The key words are fight, quarrel and battle. The language in this section leaves the feeling of turmoil and unsettledness. James lays out a logical progression: you don't have because you don't ask. When you do ask, you don't receive because your motives are wrong.
So much of what drives me is envy and coveting. Just last night, watching tv, a commercial for the ipod touch came on. Wow! The first words out of my mouth were, "I want!" And who wouldn't? That is a sleek little piece of machinery. The truth is a) I don't need it - I actually hate the whole ipod craze. Take those ear buds out and enjoy your surroundings! Learn to endure a little silence. It's good for the soul! But I'm conflicted because some how the ipod has become the standard of cool - the cooler your ipod, the cooler you are and woe to those who don't have an ipod - and I desperately want to be cool! I am envious of those who have. There is another truth: b) I can't afford a touch. It would be the epitome of materialism, of gluttony, of irresponsibility for me to get one. I would have to take money out of something much more necessary like electricity or food.
The problem is that my desire has been awakened and while I might not physically kill I know that I have had to put people down out loud or in my mind to make myself feel better about not having what they do. The other problem would be if I started asking God for an ipod touch. That would definitely be asking with wrong motives - there is no way that I would (or even could?) use it to glorify God; my reason for having one is to glorify myself. The problem is that I have asked for so much for my own glory. My motives aren't right. I need to submit myself to the purpose and the glory of God so that I can truly pray, with all my heart, the prayer that never fails: "Your will be done" I think then I might see my prayers be answered because it becomes all about him and not about me.