love and marriage

Ephesians 5:21-33

Paul is continuing his instruction on how to live as children of the light. The heading of this section of his instructions would be: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. He then gives three practical examples of how this mutual submission should be seen in everyday relationships (at least everyday for that time): wife/husband, child/parent, slave/master. In each case Paul gives his first instruction to the traditionally submissive role which might seem odd because they are already expected to be submitting. Paul is likely addressing their attitude: outwardly they may be submissive but their attitudes could be rebellious and proud.
I am struck by the connection to Christ that Paul makes: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Paul is very aware that our "earthly" relationships have a profound impact on and are a good barometer of our relationship with Christ. As a male, it easy for me to disconnect the two but God makes it clear through His Word that my relationship with my wife has a major impact on my relationship with Christ. To live otherwise is to live as a hypocrite.
I am convicted by how I emphasize the instructions to the wife and basically ignore the instructions to the husband. Paul doesn't say: "Husbands, you are the head of the house so demand your place." Besides the fact that I think there are some deep cultural biases in Paul's instructions on gender roles, he never tells me to assert myself as head of the house. What he tells me to do (and what I need to focus on) is to love my wife by giving my whole life to and for her. I need to stop demanding respect (let's face it, I might never say it out loud but I am good at playing the selfish game) and instead focus my energy on serving her needs and desires. My goal is to make her radiate. And, if I get to wash her from time to time... well, that would make this a pg blog!

the best laid plans...

James 4:13-17

The key words or ideas are: boasting, planning, uncertainty of the future. James is admonishing people for the sheer arrogance of making brash plans. Since God is in control and since God is their king, their plans are subject (or should be, anyways) to the will of God. James compares making such plans to boasting: the underlying message is that I control my own destiny and that I run my life. James reminds the reader that God runs his life and controls her destiny. He makes a strong statement that to live or think otherwise is evil and sinful.
I am not sure how the last line connects to the rest of the paragraph. There is a connecting phrase: "so then" but I don't see how it logically follows. As a stand alone proverb, it is very powerful: when we don't do what we know to be good, we sin.
I stand condemned under James' indictment. Rather than clearing everything through my King, I make my own plans and then ask him for his blessing. Rather than saying, "What would like me to do?" or "Is this what you'd like me to do?" I demand that he bless the plans that I have made. This is sheer arrogance because it places me in the position of King or Master rather than acknowledging that God is my King and submitting to him. I serve at the pleasure of the King. May I never forget that.

Tap out

Ephesians 5:21-33

I don't think men should be allowed to read verses 22-24. All it does is stoke the fires of selfishness and pride. Ok, I should probably also say that women shouldn't be allowed to read v. 22-28 because it seems to do the same thing.
Why is it that when we read instructions about how someone is supposed to treat us we become blind to the instructions about how we are supposed to treat others? Why is it that the (mostly male) editors of Bible translations always placed the heading break "Wives and Husbands" or something similar AFTER the verse "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"? Did they think that by doing that they could minimize the notice of that verse and people would give more notice to "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands..." (like we needed the help to overemphasize that!)? Why is it that men traditionally have wrestled their wives into submission and women have had to make their husbands love them? It becomes a huge selfishly motivated war which lasts until someone taps out. We could avoid the whole thing if we would just submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Me loving my wife like Christ loved the church is part of me living a life worthy of the callling I have received (4:1).
So how am I supposed to treat my wife? I am supposed to show her my love by sacrificing my life to make her shine. I am supposed to put aside my own interests and invest my whole self in her interests, emotions, needs and wants (sounds suspiciously like submitting...). I am supposed to be willing to lose my identity, my goals and even my life for her sake because I am supposed to love my wife like Christ loved the church. If I can be honest, and I believe I can; I don't love my wife this way. I am still selfish and full of pride. Christine is so often willing to support me and to give of her time and energy, sacrificing her own, for me and I am very willing to take advantage of that.
Lord, give me the love for Christine that you have for the church.