Praise Theme

Psalm 22

I really love the vulnerability of this psalm. David is the composer and it is another psalm of lament. The theme of the psalm is "Why have you forsaken me?" As I read it, I get the idea that David is saying, "I have many enemies and I can understand why they might oppose me but I can't understand why you, Lord, have also forsaken me." There is a lot of strong imagery in this psalm, revealing David's artistic heart: I am a worm; you made me feel secure on my mother's breast; many bulls surround me; roaring lions... open their mouths wide against me; I am poured out like water; my heart has turned to wax. The imagery also serves to increase the level of vulnerability. David is completely vulnerable before the Lord. If God has truly forsaken him, then he has no hope and is stripped of all defenses.
There have been a few times when I have felt this way also. Usually it is in a time of trial when I've come to the end of all my strategies, strength and wisdom. It is then that I realize how completely dependent I am on the Lord. I realize that my strength is weakness, my wisdom is foolishness and my strategies are worthless. It is a terrifyingly wonderful place to be. I know that people often say that they are just trusting the Lord and wherever he leads or however he provides will be good. I have often said that myself. The reality of my own heart is that usually those are just words because while I might appear calm and trusting, I am depending on my own abilities to come up with a plan and a direction. The issue is that the theme of my praise then can only be me: look what I have done, see how I have rescued myself, see how I have provided. The theme of David's praise comes from God because David is completely dependent on God.
So, what is the theme of my praise? When I ask myself these questions, I sense the sinful and the redeemed self struggling against itself because there is the redeemed part of me that wants the theme of my praise to be the Lord and his wisdom, strength, provision and glory. However, the sinful self really likes the spotlight. My pride rears its ugly head and the lie of Satan is terribly appealing: "You don't need God. You can do it on your own. Then all the glory will be yours." It becomes an issue of trust. Do I trust God enough to pray, "Father, bring to the place where I depend solely on you"? Or do I trust myself more.
I know what my praise theme will be when I stand before the throne of Christ. I pray that I would learn the tune and words to that theme while I am still here on earth.