love and marriage

Ephesians 5:21-33

Paul is continuing his instruction on how to live as children of the light. The heading of this section of his instructions would be: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. He then gives three practical examples of how this mutual submission should be seen in everyday relationships (at least everyday for that time): wife/husband, child/parent, slave/master. In each case Paul gives his first instruction to the traditionally submissive role which might seem odd because they are already expected to be submitting. Paul is likely addressing their attitude: outwardly they may be submissive but their attitudes could be rebellious and proud.
I am struck by the connection to Christ that Paul makes: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Paul is very aware that our "earthly" relationships have a profound impact on and are a good barometer of our relationship with Christ. As a male, it easy for me to disconnect the two but God makes it clear through His Word that my relationship with my wife has a major impact on my relationship with Christ. To live otherwise is to live as a hypocrite.
I am convicted by how I emphasize the instructions to the wife and basically ignore the instructions to the husband. Paul doesn't say: "Husbands, you are the head of the house so demand your place." Besides the fact that I think there are some deep cultural biases in Paul's instructions on gender roles, he never tells me to assert myself as head of the house. What he tells me to do (and what I need to focus on) is to love my wife by giving my whole life to and for her. I need to stop demanding respect (let's face it, I might never say it out loud but I am good at playing the selfish game) and instead focus my energy on serving her needs and desires. My goal is to make her radiate. And, if I get to wash her from time to time... well, that would make this a pg blog!